JOY ? ? ?

It's now or never.....I was late decorating, now I am late in un-decorating.   I start, then I stop, then I start, then I stop.....this has been going on for 3 days now with each day being the absolute final day.  I am going to get up in the morning and "hit it" a term for no dawdling, get right to the task at hand. And every morning I do get up, but "hitting it"? not so much.  Honestly I have been a little (no I take that back...alot) weepy in the midst of the un-decorating.  This year it really hit me that my Mom was gone, she was last year, but for some reason I didn't feel the loss as much last year.  Maybe I was still in mild shock since she had only passed away in November and Gary was still home at the time, and my worries were with him.  But the loss of her presence this year was met with more than one sad, teary thought.  And ofcourse, with Gary not being here this year has been a double whammy.  I am sounding  a little sorry for myself, and I am, no denying it.  I am sorry that my Mom passed so quickly, I am sorry that Gary is suffering from a disease that takes him further and further away from me, I am sorry that my son lives so very far away, I am sorry that my daughter is so busy with her life schedule that we don't get to spend much time together, I am sorry to see my grandchildren grow so quickly and develop grown-up lives of their own.  OK, enough already.  You have had your pity party, now it is time to find your joy.....joy that my Mom passed quickly and didn't linger and suffer, joy that I found a wonderful place for Gary that is loving and caring, joy that Lane has found the love of his life and he is happy, joy that Lisa does have a busy life and that she is happy and has found great success, joy that my grandchildren are growing into wonderful adults, joy that I have outstanding friends that do fill my life with tons of happiness, joy for my Toby....I have no words to describe what a companion he is, joy that I discovered my love of photography which has led me to more wonderful "on-line virtual" friends, joy that I have enough money to pay the bills and live a comfortable (not extravagant) life, joy that I know God continually watches over me, takes care of me, leads me, and wipes my tears.  And I found it rather coincidental that the very last ornament that came off the tree today was this.....perhaps God is spelling it out for me that I need to look to the joy in my life and pack all that sorrow away.

"Life is a series of moments.  Each moment should be welcomed in joy and relinquished in joy"  ~  Deepak Chopra

Until next time......