Ever since my husband began to obviously decline as Alzheimer's took over his life he had to step away from the activities he loved. Working and studying for over 4 years to become ordained as a Deacon in the Catholic church and to begin his life as a Deacon, assisting at Masses, leading Communion Services, performing baptisms, visiting the ill, all to come to a way too early halt due to the disease. I was angry, angry at God, angry at the Church, angry at some people from the Church. I told God I was angry with Him (more than once I might add), He understood and He waited for me.
I have decided that I would rather live with good vibes, harmony & agreement rather than denial and opposition. It may take me longer than the 40 days of Lent to come to this reconciliation, but I am resolved to try. There are people I need to forgive which is difficult because when we needed them the most they were not there, but with the strength that God continues to give me I will.
Like the petals on the daffodils opening gradually, I too will open myself to reconciliation, have good vibes and be okay during these 40 days of Lent.
Please visit me today as I am musing on our senses at our collaborative blog Focusing on Life.
"God loves you whether you like it or not." ~ A bumper sticker
Until next time......
i need that bumper sticker. that is a good one!! wow, forgiveness is tough. i must say i have forgiven several people in my life. but there a few issues i wish i could get over & move on. i've been working on those & it hurts less but could be a lot better. i wish you well with that. (:
ReplyDeleteOnce again we are on the same page, I love your daffodils. Reconciliation is never easy, because it is two-sided and both sides have to be willing to be humbled. Just remember you are only accountable for your heart.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful thoughts today, written eloquently, as usual. Congratulation on your new collaboration - I've been over to take a peek and it looks great! I will be watching you over there!
ReplyDeleteThe photos are lovely, as always. And I admire your faith and determination too. :)
ReplyDeletethank you for sharing your thoughts, this is a very touching post.
ReplyDeletep.s. your new banner is beautiful!
I recently read this quote, "Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional." As I'm trying to sort through my complicated feelings I'm seeking out words that help me cope. We have so much control over how we feel and what we make of the situation. It's not always cut and dry and sometimes those feelings are like a punch to the stomach but in the aftermath we can choose to be bitter or choose to live as positively as possible. XO to you.
ReplyDeleteForgot to mention that I love your new banner!
DeleteAlso, in tough times you find out the kind of people who can handle crisis and the kind that can't. I'm finding that even family members can disappoint. It makes me look internally and know that I am the type of person that won't shy away from a crisis and has made me more aware of what needs to be done to help or assist a friend/family member in need. Again, we can only control ourselves.
Deanna
ReplyDeleteThank you for these beautiful photographs and thank you even more for letting us peek into your heart. With God's help, we can handle almost anything (in time)
Good Vibes and Blessings!
Geneva
I've really enjoyed your collaborative blog...very nice!
Beautiful post, Deanna. It is hard to forgive the ones we care about when they are so obviously absent in our times of need, but I'm glad you're the kind of woman who will forgive and move forward. You will be happier and better for it! My heart goes out to you with what you and your husband are going through. I've been through a lot with my family, but I can only imagine the difficulty and heartache when it's a spouse. You are a remarkable person. For what it's worth, I admire the strength you have shown and the attitude you are choosing to handle life's disappointments. ---Wishing you extra sunshine and happiness...your hubby, too!
ReplyDeleteI've been in your shoes, Deanna, as a daughter to someone with Alzheimer's and it's a tough spot to be in. Somedays, I didn't want to see my dad the way he was, but I went anyway. Bless your heart, dear. :)
ReplyDelete