When my sweetie really began to decline with Alzheimer's Disease, I truly felt I was in the pit of despair, in the mud and the mire. This was not what I had imagined to develop and ruin our golden years together. I was in despair over the very fact that he had been diagnosed with this devastating disease in his early 60's with symptoms beginning when he was in his late 50's. My sweetie will be 78 years old in August. I was in despair trying to find a solution to give myself a little respite from the 24/7 watch and care that was required, I was in despair watching my sweetie turn from this loving caring father and husband into an angry man, I was in despair trying to make the right decisions for an impossible situation. But through that despair, God steadied me, he took my hand as I walked this path and set my feet on solid ground. He was there when I made the decision to place my sweetie in a care facility, He was there when I had to move him into a different place because of the extra care that he required, and He was there showing his love through my circle of friends and family. My sweetie continues his life in a nursing home not far from our home, I find him always in good care, clean clothes, clean shaven, and regular haircuts. The nurses tell me he has no problems, and eats well. He has not been sick for well over 2 1/2 years and has lived this life in a care facility for almost 7 years. It's been a Long Goodbye, needless to say, however God continues to steady me.
He has given me a new song to sing when I returned to my former Presbyterian faith and brought me to a church that has reached out and embraced me with its kindness and love. I have developed deep friendships, serve as a deacon, attend Bible Study, and help whenever the need arises.
He has also given me a new song to sing with photography. I began my passion for photography during the period when I had to be with my sweetie 24/7. It gave me a creative outlet and one that I could accomplish with my sweetie by my side. Now that he is safely in the care of a nursing home, I have expanded my passion through workshops, photography trips, selling my photography thru greeting cards, calendars and framed prints. Photography has also brought new friends into my life, people I would have never met if it wasn't for this passion of mine. So, yes, I will sing a hymn of praise to our God for bringing all these new "songs" into my life.
And yes, those verses from Psalm 40 truly, loudly spoke to me deep in my heart and soul. "Many will see what He has done and be amazed." Amen
Until next time....