Tuesday, October 3, 2017

Time Goes By....

Sunset at the Mackinac Bridge

I've been missing this place. Since my last post back in May, (surely it can't be that long ago) a lot has happened in my life. Some great, some good, some gladness, some sadness. I began this blog in May of 2011 when my sweetie was still home with me and I was desperate to find an outlet for creativity. I had found a new passion, photography that was a "hobby" that my sweetie could be with me by my side as I began to hone my photography skills.  I began using flickr as my "go-to" for posting my pictures a year earlier, but somehow I felt the need to write more, post more....thus the beginnings of this blog. After I settled my sweetheart in bed for the night, I would open my laptop and begin writing. It was tranquilizing after a day of dealing with the devastation of Alzheimer's. I purposefully didn't want my blog to be about my struggles or about my sweetie's illness. I focused on the beauty around me and it's here that I found peace.

Shaker Town near Lexington, KY

This blog gave me that outlet that I needed, and I posted almost daily for several years. Then I began to let my posting slide, I began to skip short periods of time, then long periods of time, now so irregular that I will be surprised if anybody finds this. Blogging has become almost a thing of the past, Instagram has taken over. I don't know about you, but I find it difficult to express feelings on Instagram. And I'm sure not crazy about ranting and whining on Facebook. My soul hurts from all the negatives that are posted on Facebook. We've had so much sadness and devastation in our lives recently that some days scrolling thru social media becomes a burden. Yes, I do agree that it's a good platform for keeping in touch with friends and family, but so much more has filtered thru.

Sunrise in Door County over Lake Michigan

Oh my, when I began writing this post, I didn't realize that I would get off track with social media. Now, back on track....I've traveled quite a bit since early spring going to Mackinaw, Michigan, Lexington, Ky, Door County, WI, Santa Fe, NM and finally to Gunnison, CO. Ofcourse having my camera always attached to my body.

North of Santa Fe, NM

While I was on my last trip to Colorado for a week-long photography workshop I received a call from my daughter that my sweetie had been admitted to the hospital with a UTI.  He has had a handful of these attacks since he has been in a care facility, always responding to the medication and after about 3 days in the hospital he returns to his residence. Not this time, he developed a serious infection and there were few options. Prayerfully and with a great deal of thought, I made the choice to place him under Hospice Care, knowing that his quality of life was not what he would want for himself. With all in agreement that this was the right choice, my sweetie passed in no pain with his family by his side on Thursday, Sept 21st. There were many tears shed that night, a lot of hugs and a beautiful prayer and blessing from the hospital chaplain. As we were leaving the hospital the night nurses that had cared for him earlier in the week came to us, also with tears in their eyes and gentle hugs for our loss. 

Santa Fe National Cemetery 

I took this image above less than a week before my sweetie died, not knowing that within a few days I would be making the decision for his ashes to be buried at a cemetery similar to this one with a gravestone like the ones above.  My faith, my family and my friends were there for me when I needed them the most.  I am at peace with my decision knowing that he is resting in God's hands, whole again and without any pain. Fifty-three years of marriage to a wonderful man.

Until next time.....


  1. What a hard post to write. I know you are hurting, but what a blessing that Gary can now be free from his failing earthly body. I hope you will continue to come to this space to share your adventures and beautiful photos. IG is not a connection place for me either, that will always be my blog, and I will keep on blogging even when nobody reads it anymore. FB I have creative groups that I enjoy and those are the ones I spend my time on.

  2. Oh my heart goes out to you and your family, Deanna. Life is full of hard decisions, and yours was one of the hardest. My blogging has been intermittent like yours, but recently I started again. I feel it's more a personal space for me than other social media. IG seems totally impersonal and though Facebook allows me some connection, I limit my input there. For me, the blog allows more creative expression. I hope you'll continue your blog. Many of us love your photos and your honest communication. Hugs to you in this time of sorrow.

  3. Dear Deanna, I always love coming to your blog and seeing your wonderful photography and hearing about your life. I'm so sorry to hear that your beloved husband is no longer with you. As you say, he is at peace now and whole again. Such a beautiful photo of you both at the end of your posting,
    So many blogs seem to be closing down as people rush to share on Instagram or use up a lot of time on Facebook. I have popped in on both these platforms to see what they were about, but they are just not for me.

    Like Barb, I hope you will continue your lovely blog. It's always a joy to visit you here! All my thoughts to you at this time.

  4. My whole heart goes out to you but then i praise God tht now your sweetie is in a much better place. you had a wonderful marriage and before this horrible disease hit him, you will remember all the wonderful days andthings you did together and that will bring your joy. I have always loved your blog adn do miss it when you take these breaks. I love to hear what you have been doing and like the rest who have commneented above, i agree with them about the other different medias. I stil blog daily but have not now got the same tome to comment. there are always peope who look and coment on my blog and i do not do thaat so much on there but I appreciate every wonderful comment and appreciate their faithfulness. Others wil only coment when you comment however I started this blog to share with anyone who wanted to see and hear and it remains just that regardless of any comments. I have to say that your photography is second to none and I would love to know all that you know in that field. Please do not stop blogging as aprt ffrom it being an outlet for you it is also a great plesure for us to see and hear about you, your ravels adn your life. Thank you for sharing this post. I am just off to Malawi to my family there tomorrow but posts are all scheduled in but i will not be commenting from here.

  5. Your photos are absolutely breathtaking, Deanna!

  6. These have indeed been hard days and hard years for you, dear friend. But you have handled them with grace and strength. Oh, I know you had your moments, probably in private, you're human, but on the whole, I think you've done well. It has indeed been the "long goodbye" for you and yet this final moment is still the hardest. How I long to give you a great big hug and just let you cry on my shoulder, soaking my shirt through, until you can cry no more. I can't do that, the miles intervene but I want you to know I love you and I'm holding your hand through all this in my mind and heart.


  7. You have shared so meaningfully through your photos and words. Your presence here is deeply appreciated. My prayers are with you.

  8. Deanna, you have a tremendous gift for words as well as photographs. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, your heart and your artistic talents. I wish I had known Gary! What a handsome man with good taste! He chose you! I hope the cherished memories you hold dear bring comfort at this sad time.

  9. So beautifully written, Deanna...hugs to you. You inspire me. You’re strong and your talent abounds. You see more than most see when you look through your lens. Looking so forward to our visit in January. Take care.

  10. Beautiful post, Deanna. Sweet blessings on you, my friend.

  11. Beautiful post Deanna. . .
    Lovely pictures . . .
    I love hearing you say, “my sweetie” . . .
    Makes me picture your life and love together.
    You were his “sweetie” too . . .
    Thinking about you with caring in these days of recent grief . . ,
    It is a tender time . . . be tender with yourself . . .

  12. Sweet D- I recall vividly when you started your blog - and how impressed I always was on every post. You are brilliant and such a fast learner who has become a mentor! I remember the sweet visits we had on the phone... my father was tortured by this same disease and you assured me (at least we disparately hoped) that while their bodies were still here they had moved on. Like you I am so glad I believe they are in a whole and happy place. My heart finds joy with that thought-- but my heart aches for you with this finality you are facing. Please know I adore you and wish you peace. Please give me a call if ever you need an ear.
    Much love my friend.

  13. Deanna, that is a beautiful, heartfelt sentiment. I'm so sorry for loss and your pain. My heart goes out to you and tor family. Tami

  14. You've been in my thoughts. May his memories be a comfort to you and your family.

  15. You have been continually in my thoughts & prayers. I know we had many talks about the grieving process, and here you are in those final grieving stages. The sense of loss and the sense of relief are battling within you at the same time. I'm sure that writing this post was hard, but also very healing for you. I will continue to lift you up as you work through each stage of grief and I am so thankful you are leaning on God for your comfort. Love you my dear friend.

  16. Sweet friend! I think you know that my heart is with you during this transition period. So proud of the courage and commitment that you showed during the time that Gary was ill, and glad that you are at peace with this, and that you have had the family support that you have needed . Always love seeing your posts, and of course your photography. Will continue to keep you in my prayers! Big hugs to you, and will look forward to seeing you again in the near future.

  17. Deanna, this is such a beautiful and touching post. Alzheimer's is such a cruel disease and one that even when we try very hard, we don't always understand it. I have seen your love and your strength in your writing as you've moved through these hard years. I also know you will lean on God for comfort and peace. As I began to read this, I was so afraid you were going to close your blog. I'm so very happy you're not! I love to read your stories and see your photos! Love and hugs to you.

  18. Dear Deanna, I am so very sorry for the loss of your Sweetie.
    I am glad that you were able to come here to "talk" to us.
    You have so many friends here. Please keep that thought in your heart, and know that I send you hugs, and prayers to ease your sorrow.

  19. Deanna, I am sorry for your loss. Hoping that memories of happy times give you comfort during this sad time. I remember when my Dad passed from Alzheimer's that stories and memories of what he was like throughout his life were so uplifting. Thanks for sharing your photos and your loving thoughts.

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  21. Wonderful photos, Deanna. I'm quite new to your blog but I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. Wishing you strength and peace and enjoying all the good memories that connected you. Warm regards.
    PS I'm sorry for misspelling your name in my previous comment, I was distracted by my thoughts on what you wrote.


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