Thursday, January 25, 2018

The Sad/Happy Post

Dear Blog, I have this bad habit of telling myself that I'm going to begin being more consistent in writing to you, but somehow OK, I'll admit it, pure laziness seems to get in the way. I have these great thoughts on what I could write about, and what do I do...nothing, absolutely nothing. I certainly can't blame anything on "I'm so busy", because let's face it, unless you have a full-time job (did at one time), small children (also did at one time), are a care-taker (double did at one time), I can't come up with anything else that might keep me from writing a simple blog post. I get up every morning to "must have a couple of cups of coffee", read emails, read the morning paper (on-line) check facebook and instagram and start the circle again....check email etc. I'm in a rut. I'm blaming it all on my's too easy, too convenient and I have to blame someone, something, certainly not myself.

I'll admit the last few months have not been the easiest, losing my sweetie in September and then losing my Toby this month.  Somewhere I think it's written that you are not supposed to lose your husband and your favorite pet within months of each other. If it's not, it should be. Toby had been with me for 11 years, got him as a puppy, and honestly the BEST dog I ever had. He was with me all through those bad times struggling with my sweetie's Alzheimer's and then being a comfort to me after my decision to place my sweetie in a care facility. He had not been acting quite right for a couple of weeks, not eating well, having trouble getting comfortable, restless. I thought probably a flu or a virus. Brought him to the Vet on a Monday evening and left without him. He was diagnosed with lymphoma and since I could tell he was already suffering with his not acting right, I made the decision to have him put to sleep. One of the top 10 toughest decisions I have made in my life. But I did it out of love, so he would not have to suffer. I would only be keeping him alive for myself, not for him. I know many of you have had to face this decision and it ain't easy. Will I get another dog, absolutely. Cinder is lonely, she looks for Toby all the time, and she also will be leaving me soon, she has breast cancer and she is too old to have the radical surgery she needs. So I'm facing this again before too long. Right now she is OK, but tumors are popping up in her mammary glands. I've loved my kids with all my heart. Sorry to write all this sad stuff, but this has been my life lately. I do try to keep busy, book club, bible study, movies, reading, but I'm in a rut and I need to change my lazy habits.

I do have several great trips planned for this year and I'm looking forward to all, but it's this day to day shit (pardon me) that I'm having trouble with. My 75th birthday is coming up in March and a couple of  years ago I wrote 73 things that make me happy in my blog posts. Maybe that will help. I'll start with these two...

1) Crunchy Peanut Butter on Trader Joe's Classic British Muffins toasted with Stonewall Kitchen's Peach Amaretto Jam spread on top. Try it, you will like it.

2) Reading a really good book, just finished "The Woman in the Window" by A J Finn.  If you enjoyed the old Hitchcock movies, you will enjoy this read.

Ok I'm on a roll. Maybe this will keep me going. Inserting a few picture, they have absolutely nothing to do with this post. Just some pretties to look at.

See you next time.....


  1. My heart hurts for all your sad times but rejoices that you can still find beauty around you. You are a remarkable lady - so blessed to know you!!

  2. It always makes me happy to find you here. I'm sorry for your losses though.

  3. Deanna, you deserve to have many happy, stress free months without losing a loved one. I’m glad you have travel plans. We’re going to the beach again in May - I’m already dreaming about it! Take care of yourself. Stay well.

  4. I know it has been very hard for you as of late & I have continued to pray for you.
    We are facing decisions with Libbi as well, not sure where things will go with her this year, she’s almost 12 & age is catching up to her.
    We must make a point of meeting up this year - even if it is a day at the beach halfway between us.
    Hugs & love girlfriend!!

  5. Great.big.hugs. That's all I'm gonna say.


  6. I truly am so sorry for all you've been through, Deanna.
    Sending you hugs and prayers for better days ahead.

  7. I have thought of you often with your losses over the past months. {{hugs}} You are absolutely right - there should be a rule. My thoughts and prayers are with you and I imagine when that right pup catches your eye, you will have so much to photography and write about.

  8. I am so terribly sorry about Toby, he was a great dog. And poor little Cinder, also a sweet dog. A new dog will keep you busy. It is the hardest decision that you have complete control over most of the time, but I always keep what is best for them in my heart.

  9. I don’t often read read blog post. I’m not sure why. I so enjoy them when I do. I knew the minute I saw your post title, it would be about the loss of your dear Toby. My heart ached for you, on that day. As those of us with pets know to well, the leaving is the hardest thing ever. It certainly takes a while to not expect seeing them, lying in their favorite spot.
    My favorite part of your post was your mention of the photo’s, that “had nothing to do with your post”.
    I smiled! Thank you for sharing your photos, in any form. I truly admire and enjoy them.

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