As the year is coming to a close, I think we all tend to look back at the rights we did, along with the wrongs. This morning as I read the bi-monthly newsletter from Kat Sloma from The Kat's Eye View she was also looking back at how long it has taken her to really feel that the USA is again home for her after spending time in Italy. Never quite realizing that it would take her 18 months to feel at "home" again. I immediately compared my life to hers, not in feeling that the USA is my home which it is and always has been, but in feeling comfortable and "normal" in my home. It has been 16 months since my sweetie moved into the memory care facility and I am not sure yet that I have settled into this new lifestyle. Oh most days come and go, sometimes I am with friends, other times not. I do relish my time alone, never realizing that alone time can be a good thing. I enjoy the coming and going without the worry of someone at home to care for, I enjoy eating whenever and whatever I please, again not worrying about preparing lunch or dinner. I enjoy the staying up late or going to bed early without the worry of making sure everyone is settled for the night. I don't worry about purchasing something frivolous and then having to explain my actions. If laundry piles up, it's mine.
But having said all that, I miss the hell out of being with my husband, growing old together, traveling like we had planned together, visiting our kids, working in the garden together, going to the movies together, him taking out the garbage and getting the cars serviced and not me, partnering with him as he practiced his faith being a Deacon at church. And eventho on New Year's Eve he would invariably fall asleep before midnight, I so wish he was here so I could watch him sleeping and give him a New Year's kiss. So no, I guess I haven't quite settled into feeling comfortable with my new life, not completely anyway.
My word for 2013 is YES and I have a whole list of what I want to say YES to beginning with 'to worry less and say yes to more prayer'. My grandson & granddaughter-in-law gave me a book for Christmas by Anne Lemott (a wonderful author) entitled THANKS, HELP, WOW. The only three prayers we need. I plan to use this book to assist me on my "more prayer" journey.
How about you? Do you chose a word for the year?
"Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy." ~Leo Buscaglia
Until next time....