Sunday, March 23, 2014

The End of the Discontent

It’s been a bad winter and I am just not speaking of the weather which for many of us this was a winter that we do not want repeated any time soon…no, I am speaking of my attitude and my loss of joy during these past few months.  I am not saying that I was in total misery, but many times my daily joy in the little things somehow vanished and I found myself in a winter of discontent. 

Friday I drove to the small town where my daughter lives and where my sweetie’s Memory Care Facility is located until I needed to move him from there to a nursing home facility due to the extra care he needed last summer.  I realized that as I made the drive how much I missed  this trek, this open road with farms on each side of the highway, growing corn or soy beans, or an occasional horse farm.  Prior to moving him this was a regular trip for me and usually after a visit I would wander the country roads snapping pictures of old barns, country roads, and occasionally I would come upon horses, cows or sheep.  This always brought me a feeling of contentment, of peace. 


As I drove yesterday I realized that this trip, this drive, this open road was a big part or lack thereof of my winter of discontent.   There were times when the snow would fall I thought that a drive to the country to capture the fields and barns covered in white should be on my agenda, but somehow I would inwardly talk myself out of going, thinking it might be too cold, or too ice covered, or too many back roads impassable.  So as the winter continued on, my discontent grew. 

Yesterday I spotted a horse running, and kicking, his head bobbing up and down as tho he had just been released from a winter of imprisonment and finally allowed to run free. Almost the way I was feeling as I drove the highway, altho I wasn’t kicking nor was my head bobbing up and down, but I had that same feeling of freedom. 

I witnessed the willows as the color of their flowing branches turn a brighter yellow, a sure sign of spring, and against the pale blue of the sky was a photo op waiting to happen. I saw fields freshly plowed waiting for planting, and a pick-up truck piled high with bags of soy bean seeds in preparation for spring sowing.  While I did see patches of snow, but after the amount of snow that blasted us this past winter, I was surprised that only patches remained.
After a wonderful lunch and girl-talk time with my grand girl, Brie, she wanted me to see her new “babies”….oh my, now what.  Brie’s ambition and her degree will be in zoo keeping, always having a strong love for animals this is the perfect career for her.  Her babies were a pair of gerbels….the only animals that are allowed in her apt at school.  Kinda reminded me of a couple of mice, but I had to admit they were cute.  It was definitely a challenge to capture this image....she NEVER stop moving.


Over at A Beautiful Mess, Elsie and Emma have challenged their readers to a 100 day happiness challenge.   And since my winter of discontent is hopefully drawing to a close, I want to be more joyful, more happy, so I am taking that challenge and each day for at least the next 100 days I am going to be "happy" about something during each day.  Almost like the 30 days of gratefulness I did in November.  I think happiness and gratefulness are coupled, don't you?

So day number 1 I am happy for spending the afternoon with friends enjoying a delightful concert and this beautiful bouquet of little pink mums from my fav flower vendor, Trader Joe's.


What makes you happy??

"A good life is when you assume nothing, do more, need less, smile often, dream big, laugh a lot and realize how blessed you are for what you have." 
 
-- Author Unknown 

Until next time.....


20 comments:

  1. Lovely post Deanna, and glad that you have made this choice. Writing it down does help, and I think you have been with lots of people who have felt discontent in the winter. Hope that this is the turnaround and that spring with make such a difference. So glad that you had fun with your grandaughter and her gerbil is very cute. You did a good job with that shutter speed. Looking forward to seeing you soon.

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  2. Oh, and I just love that barn! BArns make me feel like i am at home

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  3. adorable little gerbil! so cute. glad you're on the up-side!

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  4. Hi Deanna. Get things are looking brighter for you. Being alive makes me happy! Heave ago od week.

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  5. each photo a delight - also your anticipation of happy moments in the days ahead to cherish. (I was trying to link to an open ID since your thoughts inspired my thoughts ...on my other blog http://snaphappyonline.blogspot.com.au/2014/03/five-random-thoughts.html)

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  6. I really like that photo of your mums. I'm sure you'll just love the 100-day happiness challenge. That's such a fantastic idea to see the happiness in your life!

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  7. That's a lot to be happy about today - and your trip to the country sounds like it was a perfect cure for winter discontentment. I'm happiest when I'm able to get outdoors and breathe a little fresh air.

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  8. Oh Deanna, I am so sorry this has been a hard season for your. Prays and good (warm) thoughts moving forward.

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  9. I had missed your barn/field/trek pictures, so of course it would make sense that you were missing more than just the pictures - but the experience and outlet it provided to you. Spring is upon us (despite the predicted 'one more snow') so hopefully the opportunity to take little trips will return and your spirit will be lifted. I like the idea of 100 days of being happy. A friend of mine, single mother to 5, used to have each of her kids share at least one good thing that had happened to them that day as they sat down for dinner. So simple, yet so powerful. Taking time to acknowledge that even on our bad days, if we look, we can likely find one good thing. These are beautiful images.

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  10. Lovely writing, Deanna. I hope your winter of discontent is behind you. Your country sounds wonderful. I have been allowing myself to stay indoors and discontent too. Time for me to do some things to feel better.

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  11. meant to say your *country ride* sounds wonderful :-)

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  12. You've pretty much summed up how I have been feeling Deanna. Glad you got out for a country drive and spent time with your daughter and granddaughter. Her gerbil is really cute. I love the barn and your flowers. Hoping spring arrives soon and puts an end to our winter of discontent.

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  13. Glad you took the drive to help you realize what the problem was for you this winter and the challenge sounds like a good one. I will probably have to do that come July, August and September when it is so hot here. Gosh I do love that old barn. Have a great trip this week.

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  14. well this just makes me so happy deanna. glad you are seeing signs of spring in nature and your own life! i'm participating in the 100 happy days challenge too...and being on about day 20, i can tell you that it has really opened my eyes and removed that blah, gray film of winter. so here's to spring my friend!! wishing you happy, happy, happy days ahead. xo

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  15. So glad to see that you are starting to emerge from the "grays". That's what I call them. A gray cloud that permeates everything. Spring weather and sunshine usually help. Love the texture work on that first image Deanna.

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  16. Reading your blog & the promise to meet someday soon IRL is what makes my heart happy.
    I too, have felt the discontent in the last few weeks of this never ending winter. I am so ready to move on with life & am trying desperately to find the motivation.
    Thanks for the smile today!

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  17. I guess that my happy, for this day, is that I have had a chance to meet you and sense your truth and insight. It brings me a feeling of grateful . . .

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  18. You have a good attitude adjustment going on :) I like it. 100 days of happiness sounds like a really good thing.

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  19. You've taken a positive approach here that is a good lesson for everyone. That little Gerbil is cute. Coleen has two (Walnut and Vanilla) and yes they are very quick and quite hard to get a decent picture of them.

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