Sunday, July 31, 2011

Life and the Hydrangea

When I observe the different stages of the hydrangea from early bud to the dried petals that remain long after the leaves have dropped from the bush it reminds me of a life.  First the tiny bud that grows and changes from green to white to pale pink and finally to brown.  Our lives are similiar in that we begin as a small budding little person, we are born pure in thoughts and deeds.  The change continues as we grow, develop thoughts, ideas, learn a skill, and our small single bud becomes a bush full of beautiful flowers.  Our world expands to include our own family, our friends, our business acquaintances, our expanding bush.  We could not grow without the love of each other and the love of God.  Just as God provides rain and light for the hydrangea to grow, He provides us with his love and surrounds us with what we need to grow.  As the hydrangea begins to age and it's petals take on that aged glow, we too change, our bodies change, our thoughts and ideas sometimes change and unfortunately sometimes our minds age and change. 

Hydrangea bud....

Today I admitted my husband to a Memory Care facility.  One of the most difficult decisions I have ever had to make.  My sweetheart has been showing signs of Alzheimers since the late 90's and was officially diagnosed over 3 years ago.  I have been caring for him without help,  with a lot of patience and love since the beginning.  It was indeed a challenge, but one that I managed for many years.  His decline has been significant this last year and I finally realized that I cannot continue to give him the care that he needs and deserves.  I was able to find, with the help of our daughter, a loving, caring facility that is dedicated to caring for those with dementia and Alzheimers.  This disease is reaching epidemic proportions, I only pray that a cure comes soon.  My life will definitely be different as I go forward, however I know in my heart this was the right decision both for him and for me.  

"What we have once enjoyed we can never lose.  All that we love deeply becomes a part of us."  -  Helen Keller

Until next time......(comments always welcomed)


  1. My dear friend
    My thought and prayers are with you and your family as you travel this path.

    As you know my father passed from this disease and the stuggle to make this change for you all is horrible at best.

    Please call me if EVER I could lend an ear. I wish I lived near by --- please take care of yourself, as too often care givers end up being the one affected physically.

    I am glad your daughter was there to help you make this choice.

    Biggest hugs.

  2. Deanna, I posted when I first read your blog today but it seems to have gone astray.

    You've been so close to my heart these past few weeks. I know it's been a painful journey. Being a necessary journey doesn't make it any less painful, does it?

    I'll continue to keep you in my heart because I know there are so many more steps to take in this journey. I pray for Gary, too. No matter his level of cognizance, I have to think this is confusing for him, too.

    And, also the rest of your family. That's the thing about family. When one is in pain, we all are.

    Love you, sweet friend!


  3. I've been thinking about you Deanna. You and your husband are in my prayers. I always find that photography helps to alleviate my stress and I'm sure it does the same for you. I look forward to seeing more beautiful photos from you!

  4. My father was diagnosed in the late 1990s and passed in 2007. My mother took care of him up until 2 years of his passing. I only wish she had developed some hobby or interest during this time, such as photography or gardening. It makes a world of difference. :)


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