"We usually feel emotionally we are hitting bottom but as we hit
the bottom, we fall through a trap door into a bright new world -
the realm of spiritual truth. Only by moving fully into the
darkness can we move through it into the light."
~ Shakti Gawain
When I finally felt as if I had hit the bottom as I struggled with caring for both my elderly Mother and my sweetie who was descending further and further into the darkness of dementia, and felt I couldn't do anything more I walked inside my closet, closed the door and cried and screamed silently. I gave up trying to do it all myself and asked God for that help I so desperately needed. I needed something beyond myself, and it was then that I began to grow.
Once I accepted God's help back into my life, I knew that He would be with me with my daily struggles. I had been angry with God for taking my sweetie from me so early, we had so many years ahead to enjoy together, and that was brought to an end far too quickly. But that day in the closet, struggling by myself I knew that I needed to let that anger go.
Life continued to be a struggle, the daily living of a care-giver has tremendous challenges, but I met those challenges and now 5 years later, I feel and see God's blessings through it all. My Mom did pass away, but she had led a long and fulfilled life, my sweetie is now being well-taken care of in a facility not far from home, and I have a life full of friends, activities, my love of photography, a pleasant home, food on my table, clothes on my back (way too many clothes, I might add) my family who will all be here this week for Thanksgiving, my joyful kids (aka dogs)...life is good and I thank God for all of these blessings and his constant and assuring guidance And for this I am grateful.
Until next time.....