I wonder why that sometimes the only time I seem to pray is when I need something? I am so very guilty of this very act at times. I drove up today to see my sweetheart and on the way, always on the way, I pray that all will be OK. That he will recognize me, that he will be in good spirits, that the staff will tell me that he is cooperative and eating well. I should be praying everyday, all the time, but somehow as hard as I want it to happen, it doesn't. When I stop and think about this, I am embarrassed and angry with myself for forgetting to say thanks to God and to constantly remember that all blessings come from God and I do have many blessings in my life. You say thank you to the waitress that brings your food, you give your hairdresser a huge thank you and sometimes a nice tip, but I can't remember to say thanks to God each and everyday for graces that he freely gives and apparently keeps giving even without daily thank-you's? I buy prayer books, meditation books, good thoughts each day books, and they work for awhile, but then I fall back into old habits and regress to praying only when there seems to be a need. When my husband was still home, we prayed together everyday, sometimes as simple as a thanksgiving prayer over meals.
Today at the Memory Care Facility they had a "church" service. A visiting deacon came, hymns were sung, prayers were said, even a homily (sermon) was presented. I decided to stay. Eventho each and every person, both the men and women all have some kind of memory issues, dementia, alzheimer's, they all participated to some degree in the service. I glanced at my husband, he would sing along, mostly just moving his mouth, and the same when it came to the prayers, but there was participation. If those that are losing themselves bit by bit can still pray and sing and listen then why don't I pray and participate each and everyday?
I don't think praying has to be formal, think of it as a another kind of conversation, this time with God. I need to remember to pray the way that feels right to me. Sitting down - sometimes, standing up - absolutely, kneel probably not since my knees are so bad, lie down - the chance of falling asleep, chant, singing - abolutely, or speaking out-loud, usually. Instead of praying for just something I need, I need to remember to pray that I will be granted wisdom, courage, faith, healing and for my highest good. I need to remember to pray for others, those I know, those that I don't. I need to remember to pray when things are going well, that I am grateful, not just when I have a need. And I should never underestimate the power of prayer, I have seen it work over and over again.
I seem to be revealing a lot about myself lately. I think it may be because of Kim Klassen's class "Beyond Layers"...she has us thinking, revealing, wishing, hoping, uncovering our layers and praying.
A few images from the back yard....a thankful prayer.
Even the dandelions have a special look.....
Slowly opening of the clematis, note the little bug...
A birthday gift....cyclamen on the kitchen windowsill...
"Seven days without prayer makes one weak." Allen E. Vartlett
Until next time.....
