The Sad/Happy Post

Dear Blog, I have this bad habit of telling myself that I'm going to begin being more consistent in writing to you, but somehow OK, I'll admit it, pure laziness seems to get in the way. I have these great thoughts on what I could write about, and what do I do...nothing, absolutely nothing. I certainly can't blame anything on "I'm so busy", because let's face it, unless you have a full-time job (did at one time), small children (also did at one time), are a care-taker (double did at one time), I can't come up with anything else that might keep me from writing a simple blog post. I get up every morning to "must have a couple of cups of coffee", read emails, read the morning paper (on-line) check facebook and instagram and start the circle again....check email etc. I'm in a rut. I'm blaming it all on my I-PAD....it's too easy, too convenient and I have to blame someone, something, certainly not myself.

I'll admit the last few months have not been the easiest, losing my sweetie in September and then losing my Toby this month.  Somewhere I think it's written that you are not supposed to lose your husband and your favorite pet within months of each other. If it's not, it should be. Toby had been with me for 11 years, got him as a puppy, and honestly the BEST dog I ever had. He was with me all through those bad times struggling with my sweetie's Alzheimer's and then being a comfort to me after my decision to place my sweetie in a care facility. He had not been acting quite right for a couple of weeks, not eating well, having trouble getting comfortable, restless. I thought probably a flu or a virus. Brought him to the Vet on a Monday evening and left without him. He was diagnosed with lymphoma and since I could tell he was already suffering with his not acting right, I made the decision to have him put to sleep. One of the top 10 toughest decisions I have made in my life. But I did it out of love, so he would not have to suffer. I would only be keeping him alive for myself, not for him. I know many of you have had to face this decision and it ain't easy. Will I get another dog, absolutely. Cinder is lonely, she looks for Toby all the time, and she also will be leaving me soon, she has breast cancer and she is too old to have the radical surgery she needs. So I'm facing this again before too long. Right now she is OK, but tumors are popping up in her mammary glands. I've loved my kids with all my heart. Sorry to write all this sad stuff, but this has been my life lately. I do try to keep busy, book club, bible study, movies, reading, but I'm in a rut and I need to change my lazy habits.

I do have several great trips planned for this year and I'm looking forward to all, but it's this day to day shit (pardon me) that I'm having trouble with. My 75th birthday is coming up in March and a couple of  years ago I wrote 73 things that make me happy in my blog posts. Maybe that will help. I'll start with these two...

1) Crunchy Peanut Butter on Trader Joe's Classic British Muffins toasted with Stonewall Kitchen's Peach Amaretto Jam spread on top. Try it, you will like it.

2) Reading a really good book, just finished "The Woman in the Window" by A J Finn.  If you enjoyed the old Hitchcock movies, you will enjoy this read.

Ok I'm on a roll. Maybe this will keep me going. Inserting a few picture, they have absolutely nothing to do with this post. Just some pretties to look at.

See you next time.....

Dear Blog....

Dear Blog,

I know it's been a mighty long time since I last wrote, but I've been thinking about you for some time now. Wanting to write, but then not wanting to. My life has changed, no not physically, I'm still in my home, but mentally, I guess. Since my sweetie passed away in September and with his Memorial Service in November I have felt a huge chunk of my life is gone. You can easily say that my sweetie has been "gone" for a long time. Indeed he has, mentally. But physically he was still with me. I could still reach out  and touch him, I could still give him a kiss, I could still whisper in his ear, "I love you."  But with his passing, that too is gone. I truly did not think I would mourn his passing to the extent I have. But one never knows how mourning comes to us. This was not a happy Christmas season. Yes, I spent lots of good times with friends and family, went to church events, out to eat, attended musical events, went on a Christmas House Walk. But with all that merriment, I still felt a sadness, I just couldn't get into the spirit of the holidays. I didn't decorate this year, which is absolutely the first time in my 74 years, that there was no Christmas tree in my home. No decorations, no tinsel, no lights.  Indeed the Grinch dominated my scene this year.

In less than a week it will be a new year, 2018.  I want this to be a good year. Between what is happening in our country, what is happening in the world, and what has happened in my life 2018 merits to be better in everyway. Strife will continue, there is no doubt about that but we can still continue to pray for a more peaceful world, Trump will still be President, but again we can pray for good decisions, and life continues, and that is for certain.

Looking back, I really took some terrific trips this year, Arizona, Door County, Lexington, New Mexico, Colorado, Germany, and Prague. I already have trips planned for Arizona, California, Utah, and Hawaii. Nothing overseas....yet.  My life is blessed with goodness. I have good friends, a great family, a wonderful church community, my two kids....life is good. The loss of my sweetie will always leave a hole in my heart, but knowing that he is in a much better place also fills my heart with joy.

Scenes from Christmas....

Anticipation of presents to come...

Sisters....

Come on Dad, you can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friend's nose.....

Joy oh joy...

Surprise....

We have a new doctor in the house....

Are we done yet....

Grands and Great Grands....life doesn't get much better 

Happy New Year Everyone....!!!!

Until next time,

November - The Gratitude Month

It's November 1st. How did that happen? I am barely used to writing 2017 on what few checks I do write and it's almost time to begin writing 2018. I just shake my head and wonder how life speeds by so fast. Since my last post on my memories from Colorado I have since been to Germany and Prague. I am traveling as much as I can while I am still upright and able to move about with few problems. You young ones out there, appreciate your hips, knees and ankles because sooner or later they will begin to rebel and not want to participate in daily activities. My pace is slower and rising from a comfy chair, you may detect a groan or two, but it's not stopping me from going and seeing. Life gets shorter by the day and I'm cramming in as much as I can before my whole body rebels and traveling must stop. Again, cherish each day.

My trip to Germany was terrific.  We landed in Berlin, spent a couple of days there and then traveled mostly thru east Germany tracing the path of  Martin Luther. This October the Protestant Reformation celebrated it's 500th Anniversary when Martin Luther nailed his 95 thesis to a door on a church in Whittenburg, Germany challenging certain practices in the Catholic Church. This eventually led to the "reformation" that ushered in the Protestant religions of Lutherans, Baptists, Presbyterians, and Methodists. Probably more, I didn't google it. Luther was an extremely religious man, attended university with the intent to become a lawyer but was "called" to become an Augustinian Monk. It was during this time that Luther began to doubt some of the "practices" within the Catholic church, particularly paying for indulgences.

It was a fascinating trip, walking into the very church that Luther preached in, visiting the monastery where he lived as a monk, seeing his grave and the town where he died of heart failure. All this happened in the early 1500's. Our country was a baby at that time, still called "the new world" with colonies beginning to form...the time of Ponce de Leon, Cartier, and Vasquez....you remember those names, explorers discovering this new world. All this while Luther was translating the Bible into German, writing poems and songs, "A Mighty Fortress is Our God" (I'm sure you have sung this on occasion) and preaching that men become closer to God and gain salvation, not by their deeds but by their faith.

This is the month of gratitude (actually every month should be, but November has been labeled the month of gratitude). So I am beginning this month with gratitude that my trip to Germany was totally grand....nothing lost, no injuries, good company, and fascinating sites to see. BTW I have close to 2,000 pictures, so I may be grateful for this trip all month long....snort!

PS - this is the weekend of my sweetie's wake and Memorial Mass, I will be surrounded by my family, prayers are always welcome.

Until next time....