Tuesday, July 9, 2013

I Did It


When my husband really began to fail with dementia and my Mother had moved in with us (both a blessing and a sometimes curse, but mostly a blessing) I fell into a depression that I just couldn't climb out of.  I am normally a happy person, have been my entire life, but at this period of time, tears would flow way to easily and I felt like I was living in a hole and sinking deeper.

A trip to the Doctor resulted with her suggesting that I take something (Zoloft) to help me with my feelings, and I did feel like it was time that I needed something.  I wasn't thrilled with the idea, but it seemed to be the answer.  And it worked, not that there wasn't some depression, good God, your husband of 40+ years is slowly drifting away, ofcourse there is depression, but it helped.  I never took huge amounts, but I stayed on the medication year after year.

Now, after placing my sweetie in a care facility, 2 years ago (but now facing a move to a nursing facility) and unfortunately after the death of my Mom (3 years ago), I am beginning to live a somewhat normal life.  I decided that maybe it was time to withdraw from the meds that got me thru those really tough times.

My last trip to the Doctor I suggested that I thought it was time to "withdraw".  She (the Doc) gave me a withdrawal formula....you just don't go cold turkey after you have been on this type of medication for as long as I have.  So for the past month or so I have been weaning myself off.  The doctor told me to watch for signs that maybe it wasn't the time, and maybe I did still need "help", but I stayed steady and can now say, successfully, I am med free.  Even after the news of having to move my sweetie to a nursing home facility, I have continued to stay positive without any "drugs" except for an occasional glass of wine or a margarita (hee hee).


Prior to these events in my life, I really thought if a person had the right attitude you could shake off any bad thing that comes along, just by saying "Snap out of it"....but sometimes that isn't the case, sometimes you just can't snap out of it.  Even with a strong faith, sometimes that extra help (in the form of an anti-depressant) is needed.

I am not ashamed or embarrassed by the knowledge that I needed that extra help, it boosted me up when I needed that boosting the most.  But I am very happy to say, that now I can live without that little blue pill every day.

Joining with Nancy for Tuesday Muse and Kim for Texture Tuesday.  Texture - Kim Klassen's "Just Be" and Brush by Barb Brookbank at Keeping Up With The Times

"Reflect on your present blessings, of which every man has many; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some."  ~  Charles Dickens

Until next time....


31 comments:

  1. I am happy for you too, it's a great achievement CHAPEAU! There's no need to be embarressed about needing some help, even when it is little blue a pill. In the past I needed help with my emotions and coping the loss of my entire family, my luck was that my husband came to my rescue and helped through the process of grief.

    I love your shot of the glass of wine!

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  2. Deanna, I'm glad you were able to give up the medication. That's wonderful that you're holding steady without it.

    Thank you for for saying that sometimes "snap out of it" isn't enough, that we need the extra help. I am on medication myself, and sometimes people don't understand that it's not for lack of trying, it's not for lack of character that I need it. It's just the way my body is made. Medication doesn't take away the pain. It just helps us deal better with it.

    Blessings to you as you continue your journey in placing your husband in a nursing facility.

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  3. I am glad you are feeling positive Deanna, wonderful for you. Your image is lovely and as always you writing is to the point and happy.

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  4. Good for you Deanna! Nothing at all to feel any angst about . When you need help, you need it. Glad you are doing better now and are med free.
    HEY THERE, GIVE ME A CALL TO DISCUSS SOME ITALY STUFF IF YOU WOULD. COMING UP SOONER THAN WE THINK

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  5. Deanna -- I'm so happy for you that you were able to withdraw from the meds without the obvious consequences. Many of us cannot do so -- and it's not a crime. Again, happy you are not one of us that has this biological condition. xo

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  6. Dear Deanna, I am so happy for you! You've come a long way and this big step you took is a milestone. Thank you for talking about the fact that you have taken anti-depressants. I am considering talking to my doctor about giving me something when I see him in a couple of months. I have been going it alone for such a long time now and I soooo understood when you said you would cry easily. I could go on and on......but I won't......but thank you for this post. You've given me the little "push" that I needed.

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  7. I'm both glad for the season of help that you had with medication, and for being able to come off of it! Both are blessings! Wishing you all the best!

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  8. I'm happy for you- I know it isn't easy to get off of some meds without having complications. Blessings!

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  9. Good for you, Deanna, for taking care of you while you took/take care of those around you!! Hugs!!!

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  10. Good for you...for knowing when you needed some help, and for coming far enough to no longer need that extra help.

    God bless...

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  11. Hi Deanna, I am so happy for you. Happy that you have your Sweetie settled in to a nursing facility, and happy that you are feeling more in control of your life. I am also incredibly proud of you for being able to admit that there are times that we need help. I have been on medication for almost twenty years, and have not been able to stop taking it. I tried twice to very slowly wean myself off, but after about six months the symptoms would return. I had a traumatic head injury as a child, and have slowly been finding out that I also have a few generations of history of depression in my family. I think that my generation is much more open and verbal about the fact that our brains are capable of being off balance, but it was much more of a taboo for my mother's generation and beyond. My hope is that you stay strong. You have definitely had your share of situational triggers in your life. Sending hugs and keeping you in my thoughts lovely lady.

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  12. Great news, Deanna! You are a strong woman and I wish you many, many good days ahead!

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  13. Deanna, this is great news for you!!! Very proud of you...it couldn't of been easy. Just remember, if there ever is a time you need to go back...NO big deal my friend.

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  14. So pleased for you I too have suffered from depression on and off for many years so I know how difficult it is weaning yourself off...

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  15. Deanna, your honesty is not only refreshing, but also so important for those in the same situation.
    I am so very happy for you. xo.

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  16. You have a wise and understanding doctor. In today's world, it seems unlikely that there is someone who won't need some help for depression, anxiety, sleep ... you name it. The key is to accept that help and use it wisely ... and wean off it wisely. So glad for you, Deanna, and so proud of you. You've had a lot on your plate ...

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  17. good for you for getting to a 'level' place. i don't think there is anything wrong with proper medication to balance your body or mind's inefficiencies - as long as it is not abused. seratonin can be drained from us due to prolonged worry and stress. meds that can help restore to a regular level is sometimes needed. there should be no stigma.

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  18. I'm happy for you Deanna, for having dealt with everything so wisely. The rose image is beautifully edited and those two prayers are the best.
    I also love those red-framed photos in you header!

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  19. I love that you are open and honest about this, because you should never, ever feel embarrassed about taking control of your life and seeking help! You went through a terrible trauma, and now you have come out the other side, whole once again and an inspiration to others. Oh, I love Margarita's, too! xoxo

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  20. you know deanna...i really needed hear this today. i am so,so bad about asking for help - whether it's in the form of help from friend or help from medication. thanks for putting this into perspective for me! so glad that you have made it through your difficulties. thank you for sharing your story.

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  21. Deanna you always write with very heartfelt emotion and realism. I admire you even though we have never met in person. There is a reason for everything in life and I'm sure God allowed doctors to have the knowledge they do to help man deal with their problems. It is wonderful that you are now able to handle life on your own without medication. - Your roses are so very lovely. They make me smile and I think the quote you used is also very inspiring.

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  22. I'm sure many who read your post can relate intimately Deanna. I also enjoy Charles Dickens quotation you finished with; life sure does throw some curved balls to deal with. I'm pleased you're in a comfort zone right now. Take care.

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  23. It sounds and looks like you are doing beautifully..

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  24. Good for you, Deanna - both for knowing when you could use some help and for knowing when you were ready to leave it behind - as well as the courage to share your story. I'm happy you're feeling happy! :-)

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  25. I'm glad you "did it," Deanna! Continue feeling good med-free.

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  26. Way to go Deanna - thanks for sharing your story so openly. visiting from TT.

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  27. Congrats to you! Hope all stays well!!

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  28. So glad that you've recovered your good health.

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  29. Congrats for weaning yourself off the meds, Deanna. You must be feeling much stronger, and you need to honour that. But never feel bad if you have to go back...
    I really like that brush you used! ;)

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  30. i am proud that you feel comfortable talking about your visit with the doctor & that you took something to help you through your tough time in your life. i will say that i to tried many options (meds, talking to a health helper) during my Grandma Mary's passing ... but it did not help me. i will say that each & every one out there has to deal with their own situation & find what works best for them. it is not wrong or should any feel any sort of guilt over the need for help. i wish more folks would be like you & talk about it. what is the big deal? it is cool no matter what happens? we have to remind ourselves we are all human, we all go through tough times & no matter if we need meds or to talk to a health helper person that is all ok & so normal.

    enjoy your week. ( :

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